בס”ד

Boker Tov, Moish! And Happy Birthday and Freilich’n Chanukah and Shavua Tov! And, and, and…

So now ‘I’m 54’ and something is different. I’ve picked up snatches of it over the last months. It’s all still quite vague but the feeling persists that I’m getting closer, if not close. And since what I see, what I can see, is founded so much upon pieces of information gained over the last 17 years, it’s really quite impossible to simply lay out in a concise, comprehensive and in any way, linear fashion. But who cares? I’ll give it a-go anyway.

The vision of my life evolving in four essential stages has been emerging in greater relief of recent. They can be identified as follows:

Stage 1 – Dec.1952-May 1974, 21 and ½ Years.

This stage can be considered living fully within the dominant, protective space of home and family. Whatever independent experiences I had, and they were considerable, everything was defined and shaped by my parents’ home and that their home was my home.

Stage 2 – June 1974-May 1989, 15 Years.

This period I see as the incubation time for a very round peg trying to find itself in a very square hole. One one level this is also true of the first stage of my life. Stage 2 however, was fully a confrontation with the world outside of the protective home and trying to find my own definitions.

The imperatives were imposed from the outside, in towards me. It was defined by the lens of a sophisticated, enlightened Modern Orthodox Judaism, itself shaped by the reality of life in the larger world of New York City during those tumultuous years. Not knowing any alternative or that an alternative was even possible, it was a time of trying to find myself within society’s permissible reality.

Stage 3 – June 1989-Dec. 1994, 5 and ½ Years.

For me, this is still the dividing line to what I have seen as the halves of my life. The first half is defined as life within and defined by the ‘straight’ world and the second half, the ‘hippie’, counter-culture world and life on the fringes and margin’s. This was a time of throwing off assumptions, presumptions, perspectives and approaches towards life, reality and the world, imposed from without.

It was time to formulate a world view that was authentic to everything life had presented to me. It was very much an effort to understand the meaning behind all that HaShem had thrown at me in a very complicated 36 years, so as to develop a life that was the manifestation of all that had I learned and experienced; to live it with an integrity that was prepared to pay any price not to compromise. Indeed if the first half seemed so much to me as a life of only compromise, then the second half was the rectification of that and the bringing of balance.

Stage 5 – Dec 1994-Dec.2006, 12 Years.

On a certain level, this stage really began in October of ’94 when two life altering events took place. The first was meeting Rav Natan Greenberg, the first person to truly give me a chance to try and do work that reflected both my dreams as well as my talents. He gave me a chance to fail, so that I might succeed. I feel confident I accomplished both. (Yes, I believe failure can be an accomplishment, also.)

The second event was the passing of Reb Shlomo, zt”l. On this alone, I could write a book. For the present, I will say this: These two events created the pathway to the rest of my life. Whatever changes are still yet to come, this is the dividing line, the critical paradigm shift. It once again brought me into a reality that is defined fully by the collective Jewish imperatives of Torah, People and Land.

This was the time to struggle to reconcile all the stages heretofore. It was the time for me to learn how to assimilate all the different teachings and lessons into a unity that was as honest as it was filled with contradiction. It was a time once again, for the round peg to try finding his place in the square hole.

Despite the power and influence of the two October events, I find myself seeing December as the dividing line. It was on my solar birthday, the 14th that I left for an Aliyah to Israel I didn’t know I was making at that time. Since so much of life is defined by one’s home, Israel is my home and I could not conceive of life being any other way.

The significance of the seeming contradiction between the magnitude of the October events and December the dividing line will be discussed a little later. It is significant in understanding some of the hidden ways life evolves.

So now we come to it, Stage Now

Stage Now – December 2006 –

Again, it’s my birthday today; the birthday that I identify with. It is the 26th day of Kislev. Parenthetically, 26 is the numerical equivalent of the Name of G-d. And it is also, the second day of Chanukah. About Chanukah and its significance in relationship to my birthday, I have explored much and have much to say. But not here and not now.

This week I am going to Uman in the Ukraine, to pray by the grave of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov. It is a powerfully magnetic place of pilgrimage that draws increasing thousands every year, even those that do not define themselves as Chassidim, let alone Breslover’s.

I have never felt nor received a calling to go. Most of the people who define my personal world in Israel and many in the States have been. I received the call in October. At the same time, it came to a friend that he needs to sponsor a trip for me to Uman. The only question is how long it will take to discern the influence this journey will have on my life. That it will be critically significant is clear.

Once again, events that have occurred in October have been of a magnitude that marks it a sea change in my personal reality. And yet I feel that it is only now that I have embarked on the next stage. (The report of the rest of all the events are in a seven page piece I began just before Rosh HaShanah and completed a week ago. If you wish a copy, send me an e-mail)

The vague ‘differentness’ referred to at the beginning of this exercise begins to come into focus. There is a Torah from the Maharal of Prague, given over by Reb Shlomo as follows: Reb Shlomo says, “Everyone knows that there are 49 gates to go through, if you go through all the gates HaShem has prepared for you. So what happens when you pass through the 49th gate? There’s the 50th gate. What’s the 50th gate? You’re just beginning.”

Among the snatches of stuff picked up over the 17 plus second half years is the notion that everything is a preparation. There is clear vision that we are in the End/New Days; that the accelerating approach to the Ultimate Paradigm Shift necessarily comes with an exponential increase in the psychic/spiritual g-forces.

There is a prophesy: “Even Ma’asu HaBonim, Haytah L’Rosh Pina – The stone that the builders discarded, will become the Headstone.” Just as our experience is the endless effort of the world to discard the Jewish People, that we will one day be the shining, honored leaders of the Coming World, so too, the round pegs in the Jewish square hole will be revealed to be the guiding lights showing the way to live in this New World. And everything leading up to that day is the preparation, the training grounds to know and become.

How do we know who are the ones? There is another prophesy: “Hinei Yamim Ba’im, Ne’um HaShem – Days are coming says the One. V’Hishlachti Ra’av Ba’Aretz – And I will send a famine to the Land. Lo Ra’av La’lechem, V’Lo Tzaamah La’Mayim – But the hunger will not be from bread and the thirst will not be for water. Kee Eem Lishmoah D’var HaShem – But just to hear the Word of the One.”

The leaders and teachers of the Coming World are those that are already plugged into it and are learning about it by striving to live as if it was already here. They do it because they have already been ‘stricken’ with the prophetic famine. For this is a Torah that begins where all that most know from the Holy Books, ends. And within the Chosen People, there must be Ones Chosen to take the Nation and the World the last steps to the Great Day and Beyond.

So Here It Is:

On this day, the beginning of my 55th year of this life, I take the first step to make the outrageous statement, that I am one of those Chosen. And that this year is the beginning of my coming out party. Note of caution and disclaimer: I am light years from being a finished product. I am light years from being a model of the all the truths I know or anywhere near close to being a perfect or whole and balanced manifester of those truths. But it’s time for me to once again test high failure so as to create high successes. I am confident I will accomplish both.

Blessings:

The Talmud teaches that on the day the anniversary of our birth, we have the power to bestow blessing. Reb Shlomo defines Bracha – blessing, as “always more.” There is an empty space in the fabric of the world that becomes filled when a new life enters. That life is the ‘more.’ And that more is called Bracha.

Just as Rosh HaShanah is the day that each year the energy, vibrations and potential for ‘newness’ comes into the world, that on Chanukah, it is ‘light’ or joy on Purim or freedom on Pesach, so to the energy, vibrations and potential of the spiritual force, the Neshama we refer to as Moshe Pesach, residing in the body we identify as a Geller, enters into the world.

To ‘give a bracha’ (among many other things), is to pray, hope and attempt to reach to the Source of All and channel positive and potent benefit to a recipient in the physical world. That recipient, that vessel, can be a person, a venture, even a piece of bread.

If the blessing over a piece of bread is to release the sustaining and beneficial intent of the Creator, so to is the purpose of blessing a person infused with the prayer, hope and intent that the loftiest intent of the Creator be manifest by and released through that person. For the other to receive it, it must go through you and then you have, also.

So what ‘Bracha K’Lali can I offer to you? What blessing can I bestow that will encompass all who receive it through this sharing? And that I will also then have?

I bless you and pray and hope you bless me back,
that those of us who are already striving to live in the world
as if it has already been Redeemed,
begin now to increasingly experience a reality
more of the Redeemed World than this World of Exile.

I bless us all that HaShem confirms to us
The dreams of our souls,
The Divine Source of our heartsongs,
Our visions of what is possible,
And of what must be,
The truths that we know and

Therefore justify the price we have paid in
Pain, suffering, and confusion,
Struggle, rejection and alienation,

I bless us all to reconnect without compromise,
To the blessing that is the world of all our soul brothers and sisters,
To the blessing of joy that could only be experienced in concert with them,

In secret knowledge that the blessing lies in the fact that these associations could not be calculated nor manufactured except from On Most High,

And therefore that this joy has indeed been received
from the Highest of Places,
And therefore is the Most High Joy!

That these associations are the blessings of experiencing and living the Unification of the Heavenly Jerusalem and the earthly Jerusalem,

That this Unification can only be built with blocks made of Joy,
And that the glue connecting the blocks is made of a gentle, grateful love.

And so I bless us to be joyously grateful and gratefully joyous and that this carry us lovingly through whatever still lies until, until…….

From my heart to yours,
Let the Light Shine Through

Peace, Moish

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